Welcome to BonAHNSa

Shit NT Players Say

Active NEOTOKYO Games!


Big Tiddy Claymore Nork
  • 2kliksestrogen — Today at 23:34
    AFAIK, your setting is vaguely post-apocalyptic and tbh that's plenty all on its own. Its more about the journey than the big picture I'm guessing
  • Dennogin — Today at 23:34
    Its like a soft apoc
  • Wahaha~ — Today at 23:34
    yeah dennos setting isnt too niche
  • Dennogin — Today at 23:34
    Y'know after 3 billion people died
  • Wahaha~ — Today at 23:34
    a lot of people like reading bad writing 😏
  • Dennogin — Today at 23:34
    And people migrate north into the woods for food as the farms shut down
    And they find it preferable to live there
  • 2kliksestrogen — Today at 23:35
    With only so many ovens? Seems infeasible
  • Wahaha~ — Today at 23:35
    oy vey are you saying the 4 billion seems improbable?
  • 2kliksestrogen — Today at 23:35
  • Wahaha~ — Today at 23:35
    after 5 billion people died to people like you, youd think that the world would learn to be a more accepting place
  • Dennogin — Today at 23:35
    *sees big titty nork girl* Actually I think it was 10 billion
  • Wahaha~ — Today at 23:36
    >big titty nork
    does not compute
  • 2kliksestrogen — Today at 23:36
    Mummy khazar milkers
  • Dennogin — Today at 23:36
    Doesn't, they were basically forced to migrate into the states after the siege of Pyongyang
    But they can always get bionic tits
    That inflate when in danger
  • Wahaha~ — Today at 23:37
    airbag funbags 😳 😳 😳 😳
  • 2kliksestrogen — Today at 23:37
  • Lmao You slam your head against her chest and they envelope you
  • Wahaha~ — Today at 23:38
  • needs rebels who attack ball bearings to their chest so in a danger situation they go off like a claymore Men fear the titty claymore koreans. Remember lads, stay strapped or get clapped.

  • Dennogin — Today at 23:42
  • 🧎‍♂️
    The Rotten Possum Arc
  • Wahaha~ — 03/08/2021
    my fucking hands smell like rotten opossum
    ive washed them like 4 times
    and taken a shower
    and i can still smell it
  • Dennogin — 03/08/2021
  • Wahaha~ — 03/08/2021
    i think ill take the rotten opossum over vinegar
  • Dennogin — 03/08/2021
    Are you like
    100% sure it isn't just playing dead
  • Wahaha~ — 03/08/2021
    i mean
    its a skull
    no body
    no flesh
    no brain
  • Dennogin — 03/08/2021
    Ah see that's how they get ya
  • Wahaha~ — 03/08/2021
    i mean
    its also been underwater for the past 8 hours
    though it hasnt been moving
    maybe thats how its conserving oxygen
  • Dennogin — 03/08/2021
    Opossums can hold their breath for 8 hours and one minute
  • Wahaha~ — 03/08/2021

  • Dennogin — 03/08/2021

  • The Sexu Memorial Tournament 2022 Announcement

    Alright bleyers, the Summer Skirmish 2022 (aka The Sexu Memorial Tournament) is officially commenced.

    The first round of matchups have been posted here: https://challonge.com/xlsgetgg

  • **Round 1**
  • @Bonk vs @AHNS
  • @Juma vs @Rust
  • @Ikko vs @Okki

  • Please complete your matches in a week's time, and make sure to follow up on the ruleset in case you haven't already.

    Good luck to all, and may hitreg ever be in your favor.

    AHNS chat 07/18/1994

  • Kudegra — Today at 11:04
    >six teams
    Damn bro no one wants to memorialize sexu
  • Wahaha~ — Today at 11:06
    press s to spit
  • Dennogin — Today at 11:06
    Press s to get yelled at by dommler for adding that
  • Wahaha~ — Today at 11:07
    damn right on schefule
  • Dennogin — Today at 11:07

  • Lmfao


    Its been a rough year to spin up this jank ass website and this jank ass NT server. Between international conflicts and trying to return to normalcy after a global pandemic, not to mention the panic that set in after the community's main server host stormed out of the community for the foreseeable future, the Neotokyo community was in a state of panic for one reason or another.

    BonAHNSa started unceremoniously on the 16th day of February in 2022, not long after Sexu announced his departure and Creamy's impending death. There was an issue that would not let the BonAHNSa server connect to the Valve Master Servers, so for a time the only way anyone could connect was by directly connecting to its IP through the console. Thankfully, BonAHNSa's provider Nuclear Fallout managed to fix an issue which finally allowed BonAHNSa to communicate with the master servers. So, BonAHNSa officially launched on the 17th.

    It was met with some fanfare, and some speculation. While I held the office of All Hammer No Sickle's lead propagandist, I was still (rightfully) scrutinized as a server hoster, because I had zero clue about what I was doing. Many would state they would join Renraku the moment Creamy died. Chief among those was Agiel, who to this day still blames me for Sexu's departure as some conspiracy to get people to play on my server. Since then he rolled it back to simply "funding issues".

    Sexu only came back to call Agiel a spineless coward, despite the fact he only backed up some Creamy files, which I never used on BonAHNSa. He's difficult for a Swede, but I can still respect him in some aspects. Namely 4:3.

    It took a solid week to figure out which plugins needed to be installed, what configs worked and which ones didn't, and what maplist I wanted to roll with. I had the community's interests in mind, as well as the interests of those who would be on the outside looking in. Hosting in New York City was the best option for nearly everyone involved with the game, save for a few players who unfortunately live in Southeast Asia, Australia and Japan. Many players flocked to BonAHNSa for the first time on the 18th, which was BonAHNSa's first NT Friday. The chief complaint among several players was the ping difference. Where they had 20 on Creamy they would have 90 or 100 on BonAHNSa. So during March and April, there was a contest between Creamy and BonAHNSa, and sometimes Renraku. Surprisingly, many seemed to have chose BonAHNSa over Creamy. After Creamy shut down on the 21st of April, and Renraku shut down on the 1st of June, BonAHNSa was basically cemented as the premier NT server, with a new pug/comp server to boot. Since then its been uphill, both in terms of enjoyment, and the battle to keep it online.

    There have been three DDOS attacks on the server, one of which managed to bring the server offline for four hours. There are constant issues with the server plugins, some of which have been liable to break the server. There are constantly new players joining, some of which give up the moment they die, some who join only to want to cause problems for others, and the rest I try to bring into the community at large to no avail. Funding is not a problem for me, but due to recent inflation, recession, tariffs, shortages and other socioeconomic issues plaguing my country, if I were to be faced with paying for the server or paying for my survival, I would have to pay for myself. I've also noticed my temper run thin over the course of its uptime, when things don't work the way they should intend I get angry at everything, and furious at myself for not knowing better, not knowing the answer to a problem I had never faced before, not knowing the steps to troubleshoot, not knowing why it broke in the first place. The first time this had happened was when I tried to have the advertisement plugin broadcast the next map, but I did not know it would crash the server. For three days I went over what the hell was going on. When I finally fixed it, I had a weight lift off my shoulders that I did not know was burdening me. It was a simple fix, and as far as I could tell did not affect the normal playtime, but I felt dirty for having it be broken in the first place. There's been many more issues like this, and each time I get more and more frustrated. The only thing that kept me from pulling the plug entirely was my fear of letting people down.

    I was having a family emergency when I received this email. They had to null-route the server. Since then, I permaban anyone talking about DDOSing the server, jokingly or not. I don't miss Marterzon.

    The thing which looms over both myself and the server is my decision to soon join the Armed Forces. Despite global tensions being sensitive to a single spark to ignite the whole keg, it is one of my few options to make a living wage and pay for college. My rate would potentially be able to pay for a year's worth of upkeep in just under a month. I trust my fellow AHNS members to be able to keep the server alive during my deployment, or death, though I feel as though I fail them in that regard to keep them up to date on how to manage the server, its passwords, its configurations, and its maintenance logs. Still, there's no better group of friends I could trust and rely on to manage the server once I follow through with enlisting.

    It is only a few months away before BonAHNSa's first birthday, and for the first year of uptime I couldn't ask for better. The donations basically kept me from paying for my own server for the better part of the year (To the point where it made me look bad and I had to make a donation of my own), many old NT players started to play NT again, and we even get new NT players learning how to bley for the first time. We've been pushing for the playerbase to play newer maps, something which the community absolutely needs and something the community absolutely despises. BonAHNSa, and AHNS as a whole, is something I'm proud to show for the past six years of playing Neotokyo. I may not be an OG old fart from the '09 days, but I'm carrying the torch for everyone, and I'm glad you all stuck around.

    Thanks for playing, and see you on Friday.


    The BonAHNSa server room, located in the bathroom next to the dead VIP on Marketu.

    The pubber national anthem

    Kill puggers

    Behead puggers

    Roundhouse kick puggers into the concrete

    Slam dunk a pugger baby into the trashcan

    Crucify filthy puggers

    Defecate into a pugger's food

    Launch puggers into the sun

    Stir fry puggers in a wok

    Toss puggers into active volcanos

    Urinate into a pugger's gas tank

    Judo throw puggers into a woodchipper

    Twist puggers' heads off

    Report puggers to the IRS

    Karate cop puggers in half

    Curb stomp pregnant puggers

    Trap puggers in quick sand

    Crush puggers in a trash compactor

    Liquify puggers in a vat of acid

    Eat puggers

    Dissect puggers

    Exterminate puggers in a gas chamber

    Stomp pugger skulls with steel toed boots

    Cremate puggers in the oven

    Lobotomize puggers

    Mandatory abortions for puggers

    Grind pugger fetuses in the garbage disposal

    Drown puggers in fried chicken grease

    Vaporize puggers with a raygun

    Kick old puggers down the stairs

    Feed puggers to alligators

    Slice puggers with a katana


  • Wahaha — Yesterday at 18:26

  • Dennogin — Yesterday at 18:26

  • This actually looks kinda cool though
  • Wahaha — Yesterday at 18:26

    [18:26] FUCK
  • Dennogin — Yesterday at 18:26

  • Wahaha — Yesterday at 18:26

  • Dennogin — Yesterday at 18:27

  • Wahaha — Yesterday at 18:27

  • wait thats hot cheetos
    [18:27] NEORITO'S
    [18:27] RAM RANCH
  • Oni — Yesterday at 18:27

  • FUCK
    [18:27] OK
    [18:27] Who is gonna make an off-brand of Doritos
  • Wahaha — Yesterday at 18:27

  • like broken glass in my eye
  • Oni — Yesterday at 18:27

  • We need this now
  • Wahaha — Yesterday at 18:27

  • but for vision
  • Oni — Yesterday at 18:27

  • I want it as a prop
  • Wahaha — Yesterday at 18:27

  • how would you do that?
  • Dennogin — Yesterday at 18:27

  • I'll make the material
  • Dennogin — Yesterday at 18:28

  • I guess just pinch the top vertices of a sphere and flatten it out
  • Wahaha — Yesterday at 18:28

  • Dennogin — Yesterday at 18:28

  • Wahaha — Yesterday at 18:28

  • whats the dumb triangle symbol replaced by?
  • Oni — Yesterday at 18:28

  • It can be the new tiger plushie to find on a map :'>
  • Wahaha — Yesterday at 18:28

    The Ace Trap Arc

    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:16: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "guys somethign really weird happened last night"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:21: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "it was like 3 or 4 am"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:23: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "woke up had to pee"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:33: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "walked past my trans japanese roommate coco with her door wide open"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:37: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "what"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:40: "Momosu<3>" say "fake"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:41: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "she was lying face down on her bed with only her panties "
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:46: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "stop"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:46: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "no im serious"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:51: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "ace no"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:57: "Momosu<3>" say "fake"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:01:58: "hosomi in the combo TUG n PUG<11>" say "is this available on her OF?"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:27: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "i kinda of just stood there watching for a sec after i finished peeing"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:32: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "STOP"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:32: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "then she began to turn around and look"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:33: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "STOP"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:36: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "so i just ran back to my room"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:36: "sikuri<15>" say "erm"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:39: "sikuri<15>" say "bwuh"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:41: "[AWZ] Noct<17>" say "she was a dude?"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:42: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "ACE OF HEARTS EOE HOSPITAL SCENE"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:47: "sikuri<15>" say "she is mtf or ftm...?"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:47: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "ya same"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:48: "Momosu<3>" say "ace you do not have a trans japanese girlfriend."
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:50: "Momosu<3>" say "because iif you did"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:53: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "i didnt say girlfriend"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:55: "hosomi in the combo TUG n PUG<11>" say "ace woke her from the grave"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:55: "Momosu<3>" say "it'd explain why you're like this lmao"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:56: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "i said roommate"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:02:57: "sikuri<15>" say "he said ROOMMATE not gf"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:03:38: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "and so after i got back to my room and fell asleep"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:03:40: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "i had a weird dream"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:03:51: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "where i was fooling around with her on her bed"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:03:55: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "STOPPPP"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:03:55: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "it was really weird and wet "
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:03:56: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "BEHAVE"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:03:58: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "DUDE"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:02: "TorMechia<6>" say "yo what"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:04: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "YOU'RE HORNY"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:04: "Momosu<3>" say "ace no"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:12: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "GO RUB ONE OUT OR SOMETHING, GO FOR A JOG"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:13: "SouperAaron<12>" say "yo keep that to yourself next time"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:14: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "STOP BEING HORNY"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:22: "TorMechia<6>" say "based ace"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:25: "Momosu<3>" say "that was a penis"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:26: "Momosu<3>" say "it was cum"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:29: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "YOU HAD SEX WITH A MAN!!!!!!!"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:30: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "im sorry i had to share this with my NT bros"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:31: "hosomi in the combo ACE NO<11>" say "cum??"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:32: "Momosu<3>" say "dude juice"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:33: "sikuri<15>" say "I miss it tell it again"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:33: "[RU1N] hy4cin7h<2>" say "YOU HAD GAY SEX!!!!!!!!"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:34: "Ace of Hearts<5>" say "i cant just forget it"
    L 03/04/2023 - 22:04:41: "bauxite<18>" say "u guys know cornflakes were meant to stop u being horny"

    Message and tribute from Noobes

    Greetings! My name is Noobes, maybe you remember me, maybe not. I participated in two winter tournaments in Neotokyo, the last of which I had to leave before completion. I want to apologize in advance for my English and the fact that I write about it here (Sorry if this is prohibited by the rules). I hope you do not take what I have said for spam, because I have long wanted to say something, and I may not have another opportunity. As you know, on February 24 terrible events began, that directly affected me, my friends and relatives. I will not talk for a long time about the obvious things that war is terrible, and Putin should burn in hell forever for his sins. I just wanted to share with you something that you probably don't know about.

    As a cog in this brutal totalitarian country, I have always hated this system that feeds on people's lives and then throws them into the dump when they are no longer needed. From childhood, from school itself, this regime manifests itself in the worst way. Forced, punished, humiliated for having an opinion, for independence, for freedom. It's very sad to live here. Yes, in Russia, as in other dictatorships, there are good places, but these are rather exceptions, like lilies in a fetid swamp. As I got older, my inner protest and hatred didn't get any smaller. I saw how the regime cracked down on those it didn't like, how it raped free people and how it kicked out those who were even loyal to it, and over the years I realized that I hate my country. Yes, I love my friends, my house, my memories, but all this was created by me and my relatives - not by the government, not by the state. And those most precious things has always been what the state is trying to take away from me.

    [17:50] I grew up and saw people living around me. Poor, miserable, unfortunate citizens crushed by a skating rink of difficult circumstances. They go to work as if nothing had happened, believe in propaganda and count pennies for the next trip to the store. I laughed at them when they taught me how to live, hated when they justified the war, now I just feel sorry for them. They do not understand what is happening around them and do not want to understand. They make ends meet and just want to be left alone. For decades, the Russian people were cruelly weaned to be free, and those who went against the system were beaten and killed. Why am I writing about this here? Probably because I'm ashamed. I am ashamed that I am a citizen of such a wild and poor country. At the same time, I would not want the blame for what is happening to lie only on that helpless, poor biomass, which is the people. People did not choose this war. Perhaps, in someone's eyes, it is wrong to wish the death of the soldiers of one's country, but at the beginning of this war I felt exactly that. It is wrong to consider the soldiers, the real army - criminals, weak-willed people and fools leading a brutal war of occupation. Many Russians now fighting on the territory of a neighboring country are unwitting accomplices in this crime.

    [17:51] Often they are become accomplices through their own stupidity. Their own country throws them under bombs and rockets, leaves them without help and supplies, exchanges them like miserable coins, plugging holes in the front with manpower. There are bastards and maniacs among them, but there are also brave honest people who foolishly thought that they were really defending the country. There are also those who simply obey, because they were born and lived all their lives in a country where obedience is one of the criteria for survival. Are the ordinary people guilty? The question is open, I personally believe that stupidity and ignorance do not exempt from responsibility, especially in such grave crimes as war. Nevertheless, it is necessary to understand why and how entire nations become complicit in great crimes. And I think that the root of this trouble is the regime. A cruel totalitarian regime, with an invariable ruler who crushed all state institutions under him. The media, the judiciary, the law enforcement apparatus, the army, the state parties are all taken over by an organized crime group that was never elected through fair elections and expanded for decades until it increased its appetites to the level of neighboring countries. Decades of violence against the people, lies, education of hatred in them are capable of terrible things. And Russia will replenish the treasury of these terrible examples for all mankind. I do not want to justify the majority of Russians with their primitive medieval views, fear of an external enemy that never attacked them, and hatred for those who did nothing wrong to them.

    [17:51] But more often these are rather unfortunate people who have not seen and do not know that there is a world where there is no enemy, where knocking on the door is not a reason to hold your breath in fear, where you can live, not survive. Many of them are paying the price every day for their stupidity. They pay with happiness and freedom, which they never had in their lives. I want to note that 90% of all those who support the war do not understand what is actually happening there, and 75% will not be able to name its goals and reasons, and half will not even be able to name who this war is being waged against. Yes, in such a country there can be no reliable sociology, and no one will be able to name the real percentage of opponents of war. However, any cursory poll will show that the majority do not want cruel war and do not understand what is happening in Ukraine. Again, the Russians did not choose this war. They didn't vote, didn't know about it. It was decided for them, and made the whole country an accomplice and now government pat on the head, saying that this is how it should be. The war separated me forever from my loved ones, Russian missiles destroyed my friends' home, and my own fatherland called me a criminal and a foreign agent. I and thousands of other people who opposed the war are now outlaws. Criminals are now also those who, for one reason or another, do not want to go to kill innocent people on the territory of another country. But this is not the main thing I wanted to write about.

    [17:51] When grief comes to the threshold, you involuntarily begin to cherish every little crystal of happiness that has taken place in your life. I don't have many of these, but I love them very much. In the light of current events, my entire life seems small. A small puzzle that can fit in two palms. And one of the brightest, happiest episodes of my poor life was the time that I spent in Neotokyo playing with you. Against the background of the war, this may seem like something insignificant, but in fact, the opposite is true. Those moments when I could just run around the map and play the game now seem to be something unattainable, distant and especially valuable. This game has always been another home for me to escape to, if only for one night. There are not many happy moments in my past… And… I was really happy in this game and the maps from it are now remembered much more dearly than my own city… I would give a lot to get it all back. And to proof my love, I have a gift for you. Each nation has its own, sometimes strange traditions. Some of them are similar to others, some are not. Some have analogues in other nations, some do not. And in Russia, too, there are a number of rituals that may seem strange to a foreigner. Just as surprising for others may be the fact that a third of the population of Russia does not have a toilet and sewerage, and that almost a thousand people here annually drown in pits with feces (mostly children) every year, and the number of such cesspools with excrements from whole Russia enough to fill two Red Squares in Moscow.

    [17:52] Perhaps partly in this regard, some Russians, still devoted to old traditions, on special days in tribute to memory, erect toilet bowls on the highest accessible points of their house (for example, roofs). But, as in any country somehow integrated into the global world, many of these traditions often become less common. Someone still drags heavy jolts to the roof to general applause every new year. Some people only celebrate weddings or anniversaries this way. Someone completely forgot that this was once accepted among wealthy gentlemen, and later among the common people who could afford a toilet. Maybe you have already seen various strange photos online with a crowd of Russians carrying a toilet, well, now you know in general terms the origins of the old Russian tradition.

    [17:52] @everyone Well, in order not to be unfounded, I present to your attention my own installation, which I made in memory of that warm and happy place, to which I may never be able to return, Neotokyo.

    I don't know how to code, I don't know the language well and I'm a pretty bad player in the game itself, so in my history I have not done anything for the community and the game as a whole, so this, perhaps a farewell act of gratitude, is the only thing I can do. There were not many toilets on the roof of my house, just right for the meager number of joys that have taken place in my life. And with the outbreak of the war, the Management Company broke and threw away whole my monuments to the past that I collected. Symbolically. Now I have no past, and perhaps no future either. And this is the last and only surviving toilet on my roof, and I dedicate it to you. I want you to know that I am very grateful to all the players and tournament organizers of this wonderful game. Only thanks to you this game is still alive. Thank you for the most carefree bits of my life and I really hope that one day I can come back to play with you again like before.

    Yes, and excuse me for my stupid antics in the interview, I hope you're not angry. Keep the game alive, and maybe someday, when the dictator and his regime will die, Gerard Depardieu will come back and play with you again... If, of course, I stay alive.

    The July 2023 Incident
    Between July 10 and July 12, BonAHNSa has been offline after a fire in the UPS system in its colocation provider's facility. As of writing its back up (Though I have a feeling it might go back offline right after I publish the HTML doc). Either way it was a rather stressful time and I'm glad it was brought back online in a timely manner. Below is the information NFO has provided me regarding the situation.

    We are currently investigating why our NY location appears to be offline. This is not expected and is extremely unusual; it could represent a router or infrastructure problem (such as power). We will edit this event when we have additional information.

    Update @ 6:04pm EDT: Further investigation by our team indicated that this was a problem upstream of us, with our upstream provider (PacketFabric, formerly Unitas Global, formerly INAP). We called them and they confirmed that they experienced some sort of connectivity problem in the metro that they are still looking into; one or more core routers may have failed, or there was a major fiber cut.

    The location has become partially reachable and seems to be recovering, likely because traffic is switching over to redundant links and devices. We will continue to monitor.

    Update @ 6:36pm EDT: We haven't received any further updates from the upstream, but the location appears to be offline again.

    Update @ 6:50pm EDT: The connection is still offline, and when we called them again, our upstream confirmed that it was still a problem on their end, and that the network had come back up for a bit before failing this second time. They are working to bring the location back online as quickly as possible.

    Update @ 7:53pm EDT: The location continues to be offline. We contacted the colocation provider (Evocative, formerly INAP), and they are saying that UPSes (Uninterruptible Power Supplies) are offline and are currently investigating.

    We received a 3rd-party suggestion that there may have been a fire in the electrical room of the facility, which could have caused significant additional damage, but Evocative said that it is not aware of a fire.

    Update @ 9:38pm EDT: The facility provider is now confirming that there was a small fire in a UPS that led to a fire department response. The fire marshal forced offline the datacenter while they investigate the source and evaluate the level of damage. Once the fire marshal gives the go-ahead, the facility can be re-energized. This may be within hours, if no problems are found.

    All of our equipment is set to start back up automatically after a reboot, but it is possible that the power failure caused damage, particularly if there was a power spike at the same time. We will be standing by to audit all equipment to make sure that it starts up properly, and to resolve any problem with broken equipment that may occur.

    Update @ 11:29pm EDT: The facility is required to thoroughly clean the UPS and all surrounding gear before the marshal will allow the facility to be brought back online. They are working with a vendor on this, but expect it to take at least all night.

    Update @ 9:15am EDT on 7/11: The facility has worked through the night cleaning equipment but has not yet reached the next stage of having it inspected. They are hoping for an afternoon re-energizing, but that process will also take a long time (many hours) as the facility has to be cooled as part of it, among other things.

    Update @ 1:17pm EDT on 7/11: The cleaning continues, and an inspection is scheduled for 2pm EDT. If the fire marshal clears the site to be re-energized, they can start the process of re-energizing and testing their feeds and UPS equipment; over-cooling the facility; turning on other facility equipment and specific customer infrastructure (such as major backbone routers); then slowly bringing up customers in a staggered manner, being careful not to overload their power feeds. With all of this, they estimate that power may not be restored for another 6 hours.

    If you require a temporary service to be spun up in the interim at another location, please let us know.

    Update @ 4:41pm EDT on 7/11: We have received the following update from the facility, telling us that it will be at least another full day before our gear can be turned back on.

    "We have just finished the meeting with the fire marshal, electrical inspectors, and our onsite management. We have made great progress cleaning and after reviewing it with the fire marshal, they have asked us to clean additional spaces and they have also asked us to replace some components of the fire system. They have set a time to come back and review these requests at 9am EDT Wednesday. We are working to comply completely with these new requests with these vendors and are bringing in additional cleaning personnel onsite to make the fire marshal's deadline. In preparation for being able to allow clients onsite, the fire marshal has stated that we need to perform a full test of the fire/life safety systems which will be done after utility power has been restored and fire system components replaced. We have these vendors standing by for this work tomorrow. Assuming that all goes as planned, the earliest that clients will be allowed back into the site to power up their servers would be late in the day Wednesday."

    Update @ 1:29pm EDT on July 12: The site is still anticipating a late-afternoon/early-evening restoration of 6pm EDT/3pm PDT or possibly a bit later. They say this:

    "We have completed the full site inspection with the fire marshal and the electrical inspector and utility power has been restored to the site. We are now working to restore critical systems and our onsite team has energized the primary electrical equipment that powers the site. Concurrently, we are beginning work to bring the mechanical plant online. Additional engineers from other facilities are on site this morning to expedite site turn up."

    The ETA for bringing up the critical infrastructure systems is approximately 5 hours.

    We are planning for a late afternoon/early evening time frame when clients will be able to come back on site.

    Update @ 1:40pm EDT on July 12: They have revised their ETA to 7 hours from now, which would be ~9pm EDT. We anticipate that this will be pushed back again due to further unforeseen problems

    Update @ 9:22pm EDT on July 12: All equipment has been re-energized now (most has been on for a bit over an hour now). We have audited most machines and made sure that they are online. If you have a service that is not online, please contact us so that we can take a closer look at it ASAP.